In truth, feminism is flawed because it is a movement powered by people and people are inherently flawed. I have a lot to learn, and reading these essays was a step in the right direction. Tl dr– I’m a feminist, though not a particularly good one, and this book showed me that it is okay because I am human. I am a bad feminist and I accept this about myself. And much more importantly, I realize that I can have flaws and still be a feminist.
Roxane Gay put words to my own vague thoughts that I previously could only barely grasp, much less arrange into something as comprehensible or compelling as this. Reading these essays, my mind was either going “yessssss” or “woahhhh yeahhhh” the whole time. So please call me out on my mistakes when I make them so that I’m not walking around like a smug asshole. But if what I share and what I ask comes from a genuine place, it can always be an opportunity to learn. In fact, it’s important to realize when I don’t know enough about a topic to formulate an intelligent opinion then stay in my lane. Now I don’t mean to go off about things I don’t understand. And if I keep burying my thoughts, staying silent, avoiding discomfort, worrying about being politically correct and circling around what I really want to say, I won’t be able to do that. Even just this post, I’ve thought about and thought about, typed and deleted and retyped, and you know what? There’s nothing I can do about other people’s reactions. And similarly, by calling myself a feminist, I worry that every misstep I make will be held against all women and those involved in the feminist movement, rather than be seen as a fault in myself as an individual. I feel like every misstep I make will only perpetuate the sheltered Asian girl stereotype, rather than be seen as a fault in myself as an individual. Regarding politics, social justice, and feminism, I’m always on my toes for fear of saying something inconsiderate and/or ignorant. People get offended about so many things, it’s kind of exhausting. I cannot tell you how freeing it has been to accept this about myself. I have certain… interests and personality traits and opinions that may not fall in line with mainstream feminism, but I am still a feminist. I am not as well read in key feminist texts as I would like to be. I am not terribly well versed in feminist history. I openly embrace the label of bad feminist.